By Ethan Kross
Crown, 2021. 242 pgs. Nonfiction
Ethan Kross is an award-winning psychologist and a professor at the University of Michigan. He studies how to control emotions in order to have more self-control in daily life. In the book Chatter, he explains the importance of the inner voice in our daily lives. Using groundbreaking research from his own lab as well as case studies and his own experiences, he explains how the conversations we have with ourselves shape our lives, our work and our relationships.
Let's be honest, most of us have a voice in our heads. This book helped me realize that it is normal, but that it is very important that we learn how to interact with the voice. Sometimes that voice can be our inner coach that encourages us to do something scary or hard. Other times it turns into our inner critic that spirals us into fear and inaction. When we give in to the negative self-talk, or as he refers to it, chatter; our health is worse, our mood goes down, and our relationships are not as good. I really liked that he had science to back up what he was teaching but that he did it in a way that was easy to read.
Kross gave specific examples of things we can do to control our chatter. One of the simplest recommendations is to use your name or the word "you" when you are talking to yourself and don't use "I" or "me". It helps distance yourself from the emotion. For example, instead of saying, "I am really mad." I could say, "Amber is feeling really mad." It's a simple change but it works! I also loved that the back section is a categorized summary of the practical tips that were covered in the book. I learned a lot from this book and plan to start using many of the tools to control my chatter.
AL
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