Mommy Burnout: How to Reclaim Your Life and Raise Healthier Children in the Process

 

Mommy Burnout: How to Reclaim Your Life and Raise Healthier Children in the Process 

by Sheryl Ziegler 

Dey St. 2018. 311 pages. Nonfiction 

A practical handbook for the modern mother who feels constantly overwhelmed, tired, and plain burned out. This is filled with funny and relatable real-life stories, explains what burnout looks like and how mothers get there, and of course has lots of advice for avoiding the pitfalls that lead to burnout such as isolation, social media, perfection, and a constant state of busy. For working moms and stay at home moms alike, and includes a chapter on how mom’s burnout can lead to her kids burning out too. 

The writing style is conversational, and I liked how the anecdotes provided both relatability, humor, and real-life examples of the chapter’s principle. At the end of each chapter there’s a “Mommy Prescription Plan” that sums up the suggested actions to address that chapter’s aspect of burnout. I listened to the audiobook version on Libby and have no complaints with the narration. Great read for moms that feel constantly tired, overwhelmed, or “over” being a mother; this book is for you. 

ER

The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids

 

The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids 

by Jessica Joelle Alexander 

Penguin Audio, 2016. Nonfiction 

 Danes are consistently rated the happiest people on Earth. We know it’s not because of sunshine or warm weather, so why are they so happy? Author Jessica Alexander is an American married to a Dane, living in Denmark, and uses her personal observations as a parent on Danish approaches and her professional knowledge as a licensed psychotherapist to connect Danish parenting with happier kids and adults. She builds her book around the word PARENT as an acronym: Play, Authenticity, Reframing, Empathy, No ultimatums, and Togetherness. 

 Danish culture emphasizes we over me, or the whole over the individual, especially in family time and this is heavily reflected in their parenting. Other than some culturally influenced differences, the principles described here are positive parenting strategies. If you enjoy the principles in this book, I’d recommend looking at some other positive parenting resources for a more in-depth look at how to add these tools to your parenting toolbox. My personal favorite is How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen by Joanna Faber. 

ER

As Old as Time

 

As Old as Time

 by Liz Braswell 

Disney Press, 2016, 484 pages, Young Adult Fiction, Fantasy 

 What if it was Belle’s mother that curse the Beast? Following the storyline of the beginning of the Disney movie Beauty and the Beast, readers also get alternating chapters of the story of Belle’s parents. Until the story diverges from the movie when Belle touches the Beast’s enchanted rose and is flooded with her mother’s memories, who is in fact the beautiful enchantress that cursed the Beast and the castle. With the time to save the castle inhabitants from the curse quickly dwindling, Belle and the Beast must quickly unravel a dark mystery that began 21 years ago or the Beast and his household will be lost forever. 

 Part of a series that reimagines classic Disney tales, this book is actually a stand-alone novel. I like that this book took Disney’s Beauty and the Beast story and added substantial depth to the original characters and their backstories, especially Belle’s mothers since mothers are notoriously missing from many Disney classics. Most Disney fans will appreciate this retelling, as well as readers of Young Adult fiction interested in fantasy. 

 ER

Rebecca

 

Rebecca 

by Daphne du Maurier 

Doubleday, 1938. 380 pages. Fiction. 

 This classic novel of romantic suspense begins with our young, unnamed heroine in Monte Carlo. Here she meets the mysterious Maxim de Winter, widowed within the last year, trying to evade the memory of his late wife Rebecca. After a whirlwind romance, quiet wedding, and honeymoon abroad, our young heroine, the new Mrs. de Winter, accompanies her husband to his grand estate of Manderley. As Mrs. de Winter learns more about the late mistress of the house, she feels more and more inadequate to fill her new role, feelings that are generously helped along by the sinister housekeeper who is unnaturally devoted to the memory of Rebecca. 

 The first part of this book is rather slow, but once you get to the party the story really gets moving and has interesting twists and turns. The writing is very atmospheric and has a gothic, ghostly feel to it. The whole estate is haunted by the memory of Rebecca, she put her mark on everything from the house and the staff, to the grounds and the surrounding neighbors. The poor protagonist feels constantly compared and found wanting to her predecessor, a feeling she struggles with throughout most of the story. This book would make a great discussion novel, especially in contrasting the personalities of the two Mrs. de Winters and how they managed the social roles they were expected to fill.

ER

To Kill a Kingdom

 

To Kill a Kingdom 

by Alexandra Christo 

Feiwel and Friends, 2018. 342 pages. YA Fiction, Fantasy 

Princess Lira, next in line for the siren throne, has been taught brutality by her mother for as long as she can remember and has the literal hearts of seventeen princes in her collection as a testament to her savagery. As punishment for breaking a fundamental rule her mother the Sea Queen transforms Lira into the thing sirens loathe most – a human, and tasks her with bringing back the heart of the prince that hunts their kind as the price to end her banishment. 

Prince and heir, Elian is more at home on his ship at sea than he ever has been in his own kingdom. His true calling is hunting the sirens that prey on humans, especially the one that preys exclusively on princes. When he rescues a drowning woman in the middle of the ocean with no other ships in sight, and she promises to help him find the key to ridding the sea of sirens, he realizes he can actually win this war. But can he trust her? 

 This is a dark story, both main characters categorize themselves as murderers, that is a loose retelling of The Little Mermaid. Much like Cinder by Marissa Meyer, it has elements of the fairy tale while still having its own unique storyline. The book is full of snark and banter, making it an easy and enjoyable read despite the dark premise. I especially enjoyed the character growth as Lira is puzzled by the loyalty of Elian’s crew, without the cruelty she was taught to associate with strong leadership. I would definitely recommend for those who enjoy fractured fairy tale retellings, or even just a good stand-alone ocean fantasy.

ER

1491: New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus

 

1491: New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus 

by Charles C. Mann 

Vintage, 2011. 553 pages. Nonfiction 

 In this astonishing book, author Charles Mann thoroughly and methodically tears to shreds misconceptions of the history of indigenous peoples in the Americas beginning with the land-bridge theory, through population numbers and the “pristine wilderness” myth. The three main ideas examined are one, the pre-Columbus population of the Americas were much higher than originally thought; two, people have been living in the American for much longer than previously thought and came to the Americas in multiple waves; and three, indigenous peoples thoroughly shaped the landscape with agricultural methods nearly unrecognizable from and more sustainable than those used in Europe. Through meticulous research, Mann reveals a much richer and deeper portrait of the people in the Americas before Columbus than contained in any textbook. 

 I honestly had no idea that we had this much knowledge of indigenous peoples in the Americas before Columbus arrived until I read this book. Now I’m astounded by not only what I’ve learned about the pre-Columbus Americas, but also that I wasn’t taught more of this in school. I suspect at least some of Mann’s assertions are controversial, but he seems to offer both sides of the arguments even as he picks a side. This would be a good read for anyone, but especially those interested in history, pre-Columbian people, or environmental studies.

ER

Little Disasters: A Novel

Little Disasters: A Novel 

by Sarah Vaughan

Emily Bestler Books/Atria, 2020. 432 pages. Mystery

 Senior pediatrics doctor Liz Trenchard is called down to the ER on a Friday night for an infant with a head injury. When she arrives, she is shocked to see her good friend of a decade, Jess, with her 10-month-old baby. The explanation for the injury that Jess gives doesn’t add up, and Liz is sure her friend is hiding something. Jess is outwardly the perfect mother, but after the traumatic birth of her youngest, she is constantly engulfed by dark thoughts and knows her children would be better off without her. Jess’ mind and her relationships are brought to the breaking point as social services are called in to investigate her baby’s injury. 

 This psychological thriller offers a raw and intense look at the complexities of motherhood and a highly researched portrayal of postpartum distress, with a particular focus on intrusive thoughts of infant harm. The story is compelling and while the subject matter is heavy, it is meaningful. The story is told from multiple points of view, and jumps back and forth in time to give a more complete picture of characters and events. I really appreciated the fictional depiction of postpartum distress; reading someone’s inner dialogue is a completely different experience than reading about it in a nonfiction book. Other motherhood challenges are brought up as well, from working moms to divorce, to dealing with past abuse by parents to alcohol abuse. 

 Postpartum distress needs as much awareness as it can get so that struggling mothers know they aren’t alone and can get help. I highly recommend this for anyone willing to read an emotionally heavy book.  For anyone dealing with postpartum distress I would cautiously recommend it as a haunting and emotionally difficult yet satisfying read.

ER

When Women Ruled the World: Six Queens of Egypt

When Women Ruled the World: Six Queens of Egypt
by Kara Cooney
National Geographic, 2018. 399 pages. Nonfiction.

 Throughout history women seldom ruled, but in ancient Egypt women repeatedly reigned as the head of state. Egyptologist Kara Cooney examines this phenomenon of repeated female rulers over the course of Egypt’s long history, and delves into the cultural conditions that allowed for women to hold the highest position in the land. Through a close look at the lives of six female rulers, a fascinating story of the rise and fall of Egyptian dynasties unfolds.

One of this book’s main points is women rule differently than men. Author Kara Cooney really hits home on this point, and demonstrates these differences not only in the way women ruled Egypt, but also uses contemporary political figures. Cooney makes some interesting conclusions on the subject, and carefully backs her reasoning and assertions, while also acknowledging when her conclusions are controversial among Egyptologists. Overall it felt well researched and cited within the text and made for a fascinating read. I’d recommend for anyone interested in Egyptian history, women’s history, or just looking for an interesting nonfiction book.

ER

Call the Midwife: A Memoir of Birth, Joy, and Hard Times

Call the Midwife: A Memoir of Birth, Joy, and Hard Times

by Jennifer Worth
Penguin Group USA, 2012. 340 pgs. Biography

 Young Jenny is a trained nurse who unknowingly chooses a convent to complete her midwifery training in the 1950s. In the slums of the East End of London, Jenny trains with the Sisters, delivering babies in all sorts of conditions at all times of day or night. She learns to respect the Sisters and not to judge the poor she serves so quickly. Join in her journey as she meets a colorful cast of women from all walks of life from the warm-hearted nuns, to a young girl caught in prostitution, to a woman who doesn’t speak English and is pregnant with her 24th child.

 This biography is also a social history of living conditions during post-war slums of London, especially concerning childbirth. It’s written in a narrative style, with each chapter focusing on a different patient. I listened to it and I enjoyed the narration, so the audiobook gets a thumbs up from me! Anyone interested in medical history, social history, midwifery, post-war England, or the television series Call the Midwife would enjoy this book.


ER

The Elephant Whisperer: My Life with the Herd in the African Wild

The Elephant Whisperer: My Life with the Herd in the African Wild 
by Lawrence Anthony
Thomas Dunne Books/St. Martin’s Press, 2009. 368 pgs. Nonfiction

 In the midst of dealing with a sophisticated poacher problem, Anthony Lawrence was asked to accept a herd of rogue elephants on his South African game reserve or they would be killed. Against common sense, he took them in to save their lives. Lawrence chronicles his struggles and triumphs to care for the herd and the rest of his preserve in this breath-taking account of high-stakes adventure. 

The first part of this book is intense! Nothing goes as planned and the elephants are in all sorts of danger. I am seldom so sucked in from the very beginning with nonfiction, but this one was gripping from the start.  As things settle down it's no less interesting; the elephants keep Lawrence on his toes.  I listened to it and approve of the narrator. This would make a great read for anyone interested in nature/animal writing, conservation, or elephants.

ER

The Ravenmaster: My Life with the Ravens at the Tower of London

The Ravenmaster: My Life with the Ravens at the Tower of London 
by Christopher Skaife
Straus and Giroux, 2018. 256 pgs. Nonfiction

 Legend has it that if the ravens of the Tower of London ever leave, the Tower will crumble and great harm will befall the kingdom. This mix of history, autobiography, and ornithology is the tale of the Tower ravens, told by the man responsible for their care, Chrstopher Skaife, the current Ravenmaster. Skaife describes life at the Tower (did you know people actually live there?), how he became the Ravenmaster, and especially the behavior of the ravens.

 I loved this book so much! The author narrates the audiobook, and his voice and accent are delightful. I highly recommend listening to the audio version. The way it’s written and narrated feels like sitting around on comfortable furniture after a good meal listening to a storyteller. Plus now I can tell the difference between a raven and a crow without seeing them side by side! This book would be great for anyone interested in history, nature/animal nonfiction, birds, strange jobs, or narrative nonfiction.

ER

The Underground Girls of Kabul: In Search of a Hidden Resistance in Afghanistan

The Underground Girls of Kabul: In Search of a Hidden Resistance in Afghanistan 
by Jenny Nordberg 
Crown Publishers, 2014. 350 pgs. Nonfiction

 Journalist Jenny Nordberg investigates a little known practice in Afghanistan of bacha posh, or presenting a girl child as a boy, usually until just before puberty. To the Western world, this practice seems bizarre, but within the cultural context of highly patriarchal Afghanistan it makes sense to Afghans. In Afghanistan, even a pretend son is better than no son at all. But why is this a practice in Afghan culture? What happens to these girls when they approach puberty and need to transition to acting like a girl? Nordberg finds answers to these questions and more in this fascinating examination of present day Afghanistan.

 The information presented here is fascinating by itself, but what really makes this book excellent and engaging is the narrative-styled presentation. It's not a report, we as readers get to travel with the author on her journey of discovery and I love that style of nonfiction. I think anyone could enjoy this book, but I would especially recommend it to someone interested in women or gender studies, or those looking for a close-up view of a culture different than their own.

ER

Ready, Set, Go! : A Gentle Parenting Guide to Calmer, Quicker Potty Training

Ready, Set, Go! : A Gentle Parenting Guide to Calmer, Quicker Potty Training 
by Sarah Ockwell-Smith
TarcherPerigee, 2017. 191 pgs. Nonfiction

 If you are thinking about potty training but aren’t sure where to start, this book is for you! Chapters include an explanation of the physiological development of the systems that control elimination, a clear guide for prepping and executing potty training, a chapter discussing setbacks and solutions, and a chapter on night time continence, which is interestingly different than day time continence. With this straight forward and simple guide, parents can stop dreading potty training and finally ditch the diapers.

 I used this book to potty train my toddler, and I am so glad I did! The author discourages rewards and sticker charts, and stresses the importance of not getting upset with a child for accidents. She strongly recommends using a separate potty chair and transitioning to the toilet later, but we just used the toilet and that worked well for us. Also her suggestion to buy wet/dry bags for soiled clothes has been one of the best bits of advice from this book! I highly recommend this book for those looking to potty train in the near future.

ER

XxxHolic 1

XxxHolic 1
by CLAMP
Del Rey, 2004. 194 pgs. Young Adult Fiction

Watanuki sees spirits, and they haunt him aggressively. As he is running from a particularly frightening vision, he stumbles against a garden wall and the spirit disappears. Inside the walls he meets the mysterious witch Yuko, who offers to take his ability to see spirits – once he has paid the price. Thus begin Watanuki’s adventures as he works in Yuko’s very unusual shop.

I am not well acquainted with Japanese manga, but this caught my eye and I thought I’d try it and I don’t regret it! I enjoyed the story, and the manga format is new and interesting to me. Yuko is my favorite character, she’s rather cryptic with Watanuki but when she explains the reasons behind her seemingly random actions it pulls everything together. This series crosses over with the Tsubasa series by the same author, but reading them both is not required to follow the story.

ER

Children of the Sea 2

Children of the Sea 2 
by Daisuke Igarashi
Viz, 2009. 314 pages. Graphic Novel

Umi is distressed over Sora’s disappearance, and no one knows how to help him or how to find Sora. Jim reveals the source of his interest in the boys; 40 years ago, he met another young boy like Sora, but let the boy die. Since then he has been searching the world for children like that mysterious boy to understand them when he finds Sora and Umi. Anglade, Jim’s previous research partner and nephew, also wants to understand the mystery of the boys, but his methods differ from Jim’s. Ruka is determined to help Umi find his brother despite an approaching typhoon. They all are desperately trying to discover the connections between the boys, the meteorite, and the fish that disappear into light, but time is running out.

Since the scene has already been set, book two has more storyline than book one, making it more satisfying to read. I like that in this one Ruka gets more of a defined role in the unfolding events, even though the whole thing is still a little confusing. Translated from the original Japanese, this graphic novel series keeps the original right to left format.

 ER

Children of the Sea I

Children of the Sea. I 
by Daisuke Igarashi
Viz, 2013. 316 pages. Graphic Novel

 When she was younger, Ruka saw a ghost, which disappeared in a sudden light, in the water at the aquarium where her dad works. Now after her summer plans are ruined, she feels drawn back to the aquarium and two boys she meets there, Umi and Sora. The boys were raised by dugongs, and all three hear the same strange calls from the sea. The three children get caught up in the mysterious disappearances of fish around the world, while the adults are only vaguely aware of the strange events the children experience.

 I would describe this book as very intriguing, although a little confusing. It sets the scene for the series, which is only five books long. While the first book didn’t completely set up the mystery that Ruka gets involved with, it certainly set up enough of the story to draw me in. Translated from the original Japanese, this graphic novel series keeps the original right to left format.

 ER

Introverted Mom: Your Guide to More Calm, Less Guilt, and Quiet Joy

Introverted Mom: Your Guide to More Calm, Less Guilt, and Quiet Joy 
by Jamie C. Martin
Zondervan, 2019. 233 pgs. Nonfiction

Motherhood is wonderful, but it is also hard. When introverted mothers’ quiet nature collides with the loudness and chaos that comes with children, it often results in frustration and guilt and it’s easy to feel we’re just not cut out for the role. In Introverted Mom, author Jamie Martin in an uplifting and gentle way lets you know that you aren’t alone and offers strength and understanding. Jamie shares experiences from her own life as well as thoughts from other kindred-spirit moms, as well as offers practical suggestions and inspiration for thriving as an introverted mom.

I felt so understood by this book that I cried. These pages offer understanding, hope, and guidance for the challenges introverts face with motherhood, and I loved it all. It teaches how to honor your introvertedness without hiding behind it. I think this is an excellent read that I would highly recommend to any introverted mom out there.

 ER

The Women's War

The Women’s War
by Jenna Glass
Del Rey, 2019. 549 pgs. Fantasy

 When women’s only value is in producing a male heir, they are treated like the possessions and bargaining chips of their husbands and male relatives. Then a world-altering spell gives women control of their fertility and they finally have a bargaining chip of their own. However men in power are outraged at this loss of control, and will do anything they can to maintain the status quo.

 Although marketed as feminist fantasy, to me this read like any richly complex fantasy novel but with women as main characters. The plot is driven by the societal oppression and abuse of women, although a wide variety of relationships are portrayed. The world-building was good and I thought the magic system was unique and interesting. While a lot of trauma is described (forced prostitution, rape, etc.), I felt like portrayal of the after-effects of trauma like that was mostly missing. Overall I found this book to be engaging and would recommend it to adult audiences who enjoy high fantasy.

ER

How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7

How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 
by Joanna Faber
Scribner, 2017. 409 pgs. Nonfiction

If you want (or desperately need because you’re losing your mind) better cooperation from your young child, this book is for you. Authors Faber and King tailor the parenting tools taught in How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & How to Listen So Kids Will Talk specifically for children ages 2-7 and present them in an engaging style. These tools offer effective solutions to the challenges that will vastly improve your working relationship with your children.

I listened to the audio version of this book, and I loved it. The narration style was interesting and had different narrators when different people were sharing their stories of using the tools. I really like the idea of a parenting toolbox, with different tools for different situations, and a lot of these principles are true even for other adults. This book is not a magic pill to make your kids obey you, but rather teaches reasonable expectations and how to communicate in a way that will get through to small children. It’s kind of like the dog whisperer but for kids. I highly recommend this book to anyone with children between 2-7 years old, especially if you’re struggling with yelling or feel like you’re losing it because they don’t listen.

ER

Storm Cursed

Storm Cursed
by Patricia Briggs
Ace, 2019. 358 pgs. Fantasy.

This is the 11th book of the Mercy Thompson series, which begins with Moon Called.

When Mercy stood on a bridge and took responsibility for the safety of everyone living inside their territory, it opened up all sorts of new opportunities for trouble to come knocking. The United State Government wants to treat with the fae, and they decide the Columbia Basin pack’s territory is the perfect neutral ground to do so. However, someone doesn’t want these meetings taking place, and that someone can use black magic to create zombies.

 First off, I don’t do zombies but I still absolutely loved this book. It does deal with black magic, so for that reason it’s a bit darker than the others, but the writing here is just as fabulous as the rest of the series. I was excited to learn more about Sherwood Post and Wulfe, and was glad to see some other characters I felt hadn’t been around for a while like Zee and Stefan. I highly recommend this series to anyone willing to read urban fantasy.

 ER